Monday, July 07, 2008
it has been an amazingly long time since i last posted.. and im so glad i kinda got back my blogging state again..
intention is to blog a rather long long wan.. cos yeah.. haven been blogging.. and also have loads of things to sae.. but it jus seems too much.. too wide.. don't know where to begin..
lets just start at life after exams.. cos dats one major part... altho who likes to talk abt sch.. well.. and so exams have ended.. and it doesn't really feel as though they ended.. dere's no sense of joy or delight.... most probably becos not much effort was put into preparing for them.. and that is very evident from some of the results that we hv gotten back so far.. phy.. not even hitting the sub-pass grade.. and even though haven get back econs and gp.. i alr don't feel good the moment i think about those two papers.. and chem.. average? nt THAT well.. and maths.. tsk tsk tsk.. i mus hav been such a disappointment..
and now.. wif what has been happening recently.. guitar camp.. although it was a relatively short camp.. 2days 1night.. i reali felt that it was rather meaningful.. although nth much happened and altho many ppl might disagree wif me.. but i guess it's of cos bcos we look at the camp from different perspectives.. yeah.. so anyway.. don't reali want to go into too much details of the camp.. but perhaps i'll talk abt the bonding session.. there was a vast difference between 2 of the games we played and 1 of the games played.. it's lyk the enthu-ness of both games combined can't be comparable to that 1 game lar.. and tt one game is guess the song.. but we re-named it to "what's the title anyway.." hahaha.. and so guitar camp ended earlier than predicted.. and that sorta made everyone happy.. well.. almost everyone i reckon.. cos i know someone pon his tuition for the camp.. and yeah..
so after break camp.. took bus back wif hee hee and cheryl.. and all of us lyk hardly talked lor.. cos we were lyk so stone ler.. except cheryl who was complaining that her phone got some problem.. so i reached home.. unpacked and had my bath.. amazingly didnt feel as tired as i thot i wld be.. so stayed awake until had to leave for my cousin's bdae party at my uncle's condo's function rm.. and u all know how outside condo function rooms will be the swimming pool ler.. and everytime without fail.. whenever we go to my uncle's condo.. i'll be emo-ing by the pool-side.. lying on those kinda deck-chairs? (is tt wat u call it?) playing emo songs.. singing to myself.. atmosphere and ambience.. totally rawk.. well..dat was saturday night.. den came home arnd 10 plus.. by 10.30.. flat on my bed..drifted off to slp...............
and so this morning.. woke up at 8.. i even set alarm lor.. cos i decided to study for the sign test that i thought i was going to take later.. den started smsing my fren.. and den he enlightened me tt the test was actually nxt week and nt todae.. and i was lyk sheesh! cld hav slept longer.. but stayed awake anyways.. and prepared to go church.. and apparently i wasnt very well prepared.. cos when we were all in the car and 2 junctions away frm home.. it was only then i realised i didn't bring my hp out of the house.. and i was lyk wah piang!! lyk in my whole life..that only happened to me once or twice la.. so had to make do without my fone altho my dad offered to turn back..but yeah..dun wan2 b late for service..
after church had lunch wif bennett and longkuan.. and obviously longkuan was trying to claim his bdae lunch.. ended up at pastamania.. and he actually wanted to eat 2plates wan lar.. trying to rip us off la.. okay..joking.. but in the end also nvr order his 2nd plate..cos he full liao ler.. and so after lunch went shopping wif bennett.. his request.. and i cld understand why lar.. nobody wld want to shop alone for one and a half hours.. even if we wanted to digest our full stomachs also don't hav to walk for one and a half hours.. and plus at j8 somemore.. and so when he left for home.. it left me and longkuan stoning at subway for awhile.. and chatted abit before we decided to go home.. and the rest of the day was almost lyk usual sunday routines..
and now for things that hav reali been going through my mind alot and alot.. i must say that i havent thought much abt my past for a very long time now.. it's somehow as though dere's a total change.. but i guess it's unavoidable and inevitable that i wld go back to think about it occasionally.. it has already bcome a part of me.. and as of now.. i guess i reali nid to sort myself out.. altho i do feel sorted out at times.. but after a short while again.. i will just feel messed up again..
i dont know.. i feel lyk i reali nid to change my perspective in life.. everything jus seems to b caving in.. tumbling down.. is it reali that difficult to lead a simple life? i reali want to live a simple life.. one that is so simple that i don't hav that many things on my mind.. i don't need to worry.. i'll jus b so at ease.. and jus comfortable? i might even be bouncing wif every step i take.. but thats so obviously not happening.. when can i start thinking less.. less complicatingly.. if dere's even such a word.. even up till this very pt in time.. i'm thinking of wat xuanyi said to me b4.. when we were sec4 i believe.. he said i think too much.. he even repeated it the second time that very moment and added the word really inside.. i do agree wif him.. i think too much.. i dunno.. it's jus me or smt.. lyk why.. seriously.. someone teach me how to think less? anyone?
wahh..1.15 liao ler.. sheeesh.. better get going or smt..
meanwhile.. i hope He will guide me.. as i walk.. walk.. ..............
(1:16 AM)