wa lao lar! stoopid com.. irritating me lyk siao lar.. lag until lyk one dunno what for one hour.. den now den i can blog.. sheesh.. dat explains my blog post..
well.. today.. or rather yesterday.. was a rather fatty day.. thats becos i nvr ate this much in my entire life i think.. it's lyk madness.. okay.. lets not talk abt breakfast before i left for sch.. dats reali nth compared to afternoon and evening.. after guitar practice today.. went to eat kfc shrooms burger meal.. okay.. but dat was becos i was saving my stomach for even bigger things! intended to meet up wif vspb at eastpoint.. dey were having their farewell dinner.. but turned out to b lyk a in between lunch and dinner.. which i dun realli know why.. so anyway.. they booked this place which was formerly known as jack's place.. and now its named eatzi.. well.. it was a rather pleasant experience.. to meet up wif juniors and frens.. caught up wif each other alot.. and yeah.. new pb exco announced.. altho it wasnt reali much of an announcement to them.. lol.. anyways.. had the grilled fish.. and everybody eat finish liao ler hor.. den bit by bit started walking out.. i was wondering lyk hu settled the bill marhs.. so yeah.. asked arnd no one cld tell me.. so in the end.. i had free lunch! muahhahahhaa! but of cos i feel bad.. and if u guys do need the funds can always come look for me..
after that we made our way to tampines safra where they split up due to different interests.... some went to LAN while some bowled.. me.. i watched the bowlers.. couldn't stay for long anyway.. supposed to rush back to celebrate my cousin's one year old bdae!
baby eason.. so cute lar!
and this is his cake...
lyk super big lar! omgosh.. oh well.. one year old birthdays are always made one of the biggest.. and so lots of food was cooked by my ah ma.. and yeah.. desert.. i actually ate more than my usual amount for dinner lor.. and i dunno how i amazingly did it after having eaten lyk two lunches.. on top of that.. desert plus cake.. siao liao.. gonna b fat..
hai.. dats abt it for today.. yep.. suddenly dun hav reali much to sae ler.. mayb becos im lyk literally dragging myself to finish this post..
anyways.. holidays are here.. but i guess at this stage.. it doesn't reali feel lyk a holiday anymore.. it's just a period of time where u r given that bit more of room for gasping of air.. catch up wif sch work.. cca.. yeah.. and thats wat your holidays are made up of.. and not to forget pw.. it's lyk getting nowhere... sighs..
looking at my one year old cousin.. how i wish i cld be jus lyk him.. so carefree.. and nt having a single worry abt the world.. sighs...
HAPPY BIRTHDAY MATT! =D
24/05
and i finally managed to start blogging.. i wonder why.. it's alr 12.30am.. when i switched on the com at lyk wat.. 9.30... gosh...
okay..term2 comes to a close.. and a not-going-to-be-able-to-survive term3 is going to start sooner or later.. pw.. mid-years.. pw.. pw.. and more pw.. it's gonna b packed.. as we hav already been told..
well.. just about realised.. i actually don't blog that often.. once a week.. yeah.. but it feels rather often to me.. but oh well.. doesnt realli matter that much..
i guess it's jus gonna b a... lets say.... emo time again.. i mean lyk thats what i literally do.. in my blog posts.. just allow thoughts and emotions to flow.......................
well.. i realli realli am beginning to believe that i seriously care too much.. for my own good.. it's lyk messing myself up.. yar.. i probably don't even need to go to that extent.. but when i do.. i end up thinking and thinking and thinking.. and now looking back at myself.. i just know that i shouldn't b thinking that far.. just wonder wats making me think lyk a gone-mad person..
so how do u get used to not doing something that u were so used to doing.. it's lyk suddenly a usual part of your routine or smt vanquishes.. and den u just get "crippled" by that fact dat u can't do the same thing that u are so used to doing.. and it just creates an empty feeling inside of u.. smt that cannot reali b replaced by other stuff.. indulge in things to do? and don't think about it? it'll take much more than that..
and somehow.. the feeling of emptiness and loneliness just caves in again.. nvr felt this way for quite some time ler.. and dis time again.. it's rather strong.. has nvr been dis strong for quite some time now.. looking back at all the past.. it's lyk definitely.. dey hav all played a part in what u have become todae.. and yar.. it just shapes u..
perhaps this is one of my shortest posts ever? lol.. can't rmb when's the last time i posted smt dis short..
attempting nt to think.... i must be ambitious or smt..
sighs.. okay.. bad way to start a post..
well.. i think im gonna begin to post lyk marcus.. short lines.. short paragraphs.. oh wait.. sorry.. Marcus..
but den again.. it doesn't even feel lyk me.. okay..scrap it..
well.. so so much going on.. i dun even know where to begin.. sighs.. ahh.. okay.. perhaps mid year exams.. bad bad bad.. failed both physics and econs.. and most likely gp as well..cos i just passed compo (less 0.01 mark means fail liao.. rounding up not applicable)..and most ppl failed compre.. so yep.. dun even need to think abt it..
econs and gp mid-year just nxt week.. im so gonna die.. hai..
best part is i practically wasted away the whole of today.. and major contribution to the feeling i hav of nt wanting to do anything...
went to watch vj's guitar ensemble ytd.. and yeah.. it was realli cool.. great performance.. audience was ecstatic.. oh well.. one thing bad.. ended quite late.. skipped dinner last night..
ppl ask me.. why i so emo.. ppl ask me.. why emotimo.. i hear the word emo and i just turn to wherever i heard the word.. haha.. it's lyk i think it's somebody calling me.. yar.. madness but true..
sighs.. loads and loads of things have been racing through my mind.. and it never fails to put me down.. ten feet under.. guess whats one of the most dangerous things that can ever happen to u is that u are trapped in your past.. u can't break free from whats weighing u down.. worse.. when u dun even know whats weighing u down.. in my case.. i guess i do know.. but it's nt smt that can be handled wif so easily.. i realli reali wonder whats wrong wif me.. it's lyk im emotionally ill.. psychologically impaired.. if dere's even such a thing..
am i caring too much? i realli wonder to myself... if all that i am experiencing is realli happening to me.. it's hard.. to face reality.. what will happen.. if i actually just take a few steps back.. care less.. would everything change? i realli dunno..
i somehow pretend that nothing's going on.. i jus pretend it doesn't affect me at all.. i wonder why..
cld someone enlighten me as to how our mind works? why do ppl think the way they think..
everyone makes mistakes.. how easy it is for us to make mistakes.. given the countless amount of opportunities that we have in our everyday life.. however.. some mistakes just differ frm the rest.. mistakes that can scar u for life.. mistakes that can cost u a friendship.. a relationship.. i doubt anyone will wan2 make a mistake that wld cost a frenship or a relationship.. it'll jus scar u for life..
i never wanted to lose anyone.. but why is it that it's so much easier to lose someone so close to u.. than to build up a close relationship wif someone.. u can spend 5, 10, 15 years building a relationship.. a relationship that u hv nvr built closer b4.. and only after a month.. or a few of maintaining that relationship.. it breaks.. and can u live with it?
okay.. i think i realli gotta stop here.. it's lyk dere's no end..