Saturday, April 19, 2008
sigh.. oh lol.. wat a way to begin a post.. simply by sighing..
the entire week is lyk crap.. sleeping past midnight every night.. i think except for 1 night.. having to douse yourself wif a dosage of caffeine.. having to drag yourself to school.. it's just becoming more and more meaningless.. especially when u go through lectures and tutorials when your mind is half conscious.. while the other half is lyk drifting away.. literally.. stress has been piling up.. and never-ending work is being "thrown" at u.. u can't afford to slip up.. or u'll just lag behind..
can't believe im actually feeling the stress already.. it's only april.. at J1.. i realli wonder whats gonna happen to me.. sigh..
anyway.. sidetrack abit.. so sad lar! came home today and found that the first nylon string of my guitar snapped.. lyk i didnt even know when it happened.. hai..
although last night was one of the longest nights i had ever slept.. especially if u were to compare wif the nights of the past week.. i wouldnt exactly say that it was a good sleep.. thats becos i dreamt.. i wld sae it's smt nt that i dun want to dream abt.. but rather smt that i wld rather not dream abt.. cos it'll lead me to think about alot and alot of stuff.. and it has been some time.. till last night i was reminded of it again..
what if u had lost someone very close to u.. i guess it wld almost exactly be the same as u lost ur hp.. u're whole self will nt feel at ease.. u'll feel weird.. u'll feel that something's missing! and actually a big part of u is missing..
u may think.. does the other person know how i feel? and for all u noe.. the other person is also thinking the same way.. "do u know how he/she feels?"
i guess it's true.. when there's no proper closure.. when there's jus a sudden and abrupt ending to the friendship/relationship.. it'll just lead u into depression.. becos even if things were to end.. you yourself know.. that u wouldn't want it to end that way.. but the harsh truth is that things hav to end in a way that neither parties can b happy wif.. precisely becos the 2 parties hav differences in the way they want to regard each other frm now on..
ever thought why it's hard for a couple to regard each other as friends after breaking up? not to even mention talk to each other?
how about friends.. the moment u lose them.. it's gone.. nvr to be in sight again.. never will be the same again..
WHY..
are relationships and friendships that fragile?
whats the point in putting in so much effort into maintaining a relationship.. or a friendship wif someone.. when u might just lose it some day.. when ppl might just treat u differently after a period of time..
Whats the POINT?
dunno wat has gotten into me.. perhaps it's just the great empty feeling that's towering over me once again..
(10:58 PM)