Friday, November 17, 2006
fancy myself coming online at such a weird hour.. didn't actually have the intention to come online.. but yea.. my phone is taken away.. by my father.. but what else can i do.. well.. my phone was taken away by my father becos i was spending too much time on the phone.. and yea.. im sorry.. skye.. i was merely trying to help.. someone out.. and yea.. my phone was taken away.. looks lyk im wronged or smt.. ha..isn't that wat always happens to me..
i can't help myself.. i just feel this way.. i hv nvr felt this way towards someone before.. and i really dunno why i am feeling this way towards u.. its okay.. no matter how much u hurt me.. and how much u'll hate or dislike me for what i did to u.. all i hope is that u live ur life to its fullest.. making full use of it.. and carry on to live on strongly.. thats probably the most basic thing i wish for u now.. and perhaps also to be happy.. and i mean truly and thoroughly happy for the rest of ur life.. yeah..
i guess my parents are just not going to understand this part abt me caring for u.. and i dunno if i shld even make them understand.. its just going to be difficult.. cos dey think that im poking my nose into other ppl's business.. im so involved and everything so much so that i neglect myself.. i really dunno how else to sae liao le lars..
well.. i guess u have done enough to prove to me that u completely want me to leave u alone.. yea? no other friends.... well.. okay... if thats the way u want things to be.. i can only think, reflect on why u want things to be this way.. i guess i'll try my best to understand u okae? as of now.. i guess.. yea..i'll just leave u alone.. i guess...
its hard to accept reality.. sometimes.. it just wants to pit itself against u.. but yet u know u will lose cos u can't control it.. it just comes at u.. right in ur face.. and yea.. we can only struggle to survive... cos its not within ur control.. lyk who but God can control it..
honestly.. whats fate... izzit smt that will never go away? smt that will always be present in our daily lives? why wld fate wanna bring 2 ppl together.. or even bring 2 ppl apart? or even cause situations between 2 ppl to be 1-sided.. or cause situations between 2 ppl to be bad.. worse.. worser.. its just playing a joke on me isn't it.. why.. WHY?!?!
why is my life liddat..
why does everyone have to treat me this way..
why is the world liddat..
why does God have to do this to me..
why do u have to ask me to leave u alone..
why do u not want to hate me..
why do i feel this way..
gosh.. its just me isn't it.. the screwed up part of me..
(12:33 AM)