Saturday, July 08, 2006
had my o level mother tongue oral on thurs.. although the topic was relatively easy compared to previous days.. i just somehow screwed it up.. well.. i just started talking the unimportant part of the topic and wanted to proceed on to the main part of the topic lars.. den the examiner just interrupted me and said "very good.. but we are referring to the relationship between the employer and the maid, not the benefits or bad points about hiring a maid".. in chinese of course.. but.. sighx.. wat to do.. minus marks lors.. sighx..
friday had 2.4km run.. the actual thingy.. best part is run in school lors.. i so love dat.. cos i most of the time run in school de.. dun lyk to go all the way to the lagoon at east coast park to do.. somemore when u run on the lagoon right.. u can see the long long round around the lagoon dat u still hv to run lors.. so demoralising.. sch better.. for me lars.. dunno about others..
anyway.. it is proven that it's indeed better for me.. cos i improved by 1 min just by running in sch! lyk wa sia lar.. dunno wat happened to me on friday also..maybe i just decided to whack all the way.. and cool mann.. nvr in my entire life had i dreamt of getting 10 mins plus.. it really seemed impossible for me to me.. but i achieved it! yea mann.. 10.37.. am proud of myself.. hahas.. =P
though u guys might think my life's normal.. i somehow dunno why my life is like that.. ppl say that your life is controlled by u.. ur life is the way it is the way u want it to be.. yups.. i find thats true.. but i just somehow cannot control my life? its just the way it is.. commitments.. friends.. school.. who wouldn't wan to hv more friends right.. but of course not to an extend whereby u r more interested in making friends than ur school work..
well.. i am aware that i broke ur trust in me.. but honestly speaking.. is it just gonna affect our friendship like this? hais.. i know.. its still becos i broke my promise right.. was tat an important test for me that i failed? or is it just becos u wanted to get back at ur kor? we shld never have any intention of taking revenge.. anyone of us.. in this world.. if there was revenge in this world.. when will there be world peace? well.. my point is.. i hv nvr wanted to hurt ur feelings this much kaes.. im sorry..
one thing i can be happy about is that i hv begun a new friendship wif someone.. u noe hu u r bah.. well... all this months that we didnt talk.. it indeed was abit hard to adjust to at first.. i just simply had to get use to not talking to u... as time passed... my feelings just slowly died away.. slowly and quietly.. sighx.. but well.. but now.. im thankful that we can be friends again.. =)
as for U.. yups u.. it is really God's will that we have met.. its God's plan bah.. thats what i choose to believe.. and thats what i believe... i really appreciate u for being here in my life.. for making that difference in my life.. got smt to tell u.. and that is.. i notice a change for the better in you.. and im very happy for u.. so keep up the good work alright? and make sure u stay close in your walk of life with God alright? jiayou!! =) however there are still some things to improve on.. i dunno.. perhaps its ur mood when i talk to u? or is it mine? i seldom vent my frustrations on u do i? i really am sorry if i m the cause of ur frustrations.. but u must let me know ur frustrations too right... sometimes u just do things ur way without thinking of how i might feel.... is this the way it shld be? i honestly tell u alright.. sometimes i just dun lyk the way u do things.. i hv always tried and let it be ur way... but wat do i get in return? not that i m expecting anything frm u.. i dun get anything in return.. im doing this not for myself but for you alright? if u can't show any appreciation.. how do u think i will feel.. i always say.. im unhappy nvm.. u happy can liao le.. right?
perhaps u think i can still treat u much better.. u say.. im busy.. yes.. i m.. but do u think of how i might feel on my side? im coping both ways.. trying to balance my commitments and stuff.. aware of how much pressure i face? aware of how i feel? do u care? i hv tried my best.. to give u my best.. and if u r still not happy............. i hv failed my duty.... and im just not the guy that u r looking for okay..
to everyone out there.. take care!! and make the best out of ur life..
(6:43 PM)